Day 52

Yesterday I did really well except for the alcohol I consumed (Midori and Coke... so yum... so bad!) Fortunately, I am out of Coke so no more alcohol!

Yesterday was the first day I ate nothing cooked (cause I was completely out of vegie burgers). And I did okay! I had a lunchtime smoothie with frozen summer fruits and some green powder and stevia. It was... drinkable... but probably not really naturally sweet enough. Maybe a banana would help? Or some dates?? Just something a little sweeter in it. I find Stevia makes it taste a little odd, even though it's sweet. However, better than sugar!

Hmm... I made the kids cheesy pasta for tea and YUM it looked and smelled so good! ARGH. I usually do pretty well not eating food that I shouldn't, and resisting temptation, but there are times it's still hard! Still I just had my green smoothie and I'm not suffering any ill effects from resisting temptation! And tonight I will have no alcohol, so it will be pretty much a completely raw day. Ooooh! (Well except for my non-raw protein powder lol).

Hmm well here is an issue. I have a savoury craving. I think this was generally satisfied each night by having a vegie burger or sausage or something, but now I haven't had it I'm craving it! Humm hopefully the craving goes soon! It's not like I'm craving junk or anything, although I COULD start craving it if the itch isn't scratched, so to speak! It is times like these when budding raw food eaters like to have dehydrators, cause you can make dehydrated breads and suchlike! Even raw pizza! Mmmm that'd be yummy lol. I have no idea what I can have as a substitute? Or do I just ignore it this evening? Honestly, I would cook a vegie burger and eat it now if I could :)

Hmm I need to make some $$$ so I can buy myself a dehydrator and make some raw savoury food, so I'm not tempted into eating non-raw stuff, even if it is vegan. I am not sure how I can go an entire month eating the way I am eating now, if I keep feeling this way! It is easy peasy with the vegie burger for dinner (along with my green smoothie), but without it's MUCH harder. Normally I don't have any cravings at all by this time of evening. Sort of annoying really!

Day 51

Well, over half way to 100 days. It's funny that 100 days sounds like ages, but in reality it's only just over three months! It seems that one should be able to accomplish sooo much in 100 days, doesn't it? And yet, three months doesn't sound all that long.

Well, I went to my sister's house to wash the cars (which we did) and go for a walk (which we didn't do). Nope, the kids were watching a DVD so after cleaning the cars we finished watching the DVD and then decided we were feeling tired and lazy and went home. BAD ME!

I have really got to go to bed earlier than I currently am, because it's just draining my energy. I also have to be a little bit careful with my food, because I am concerned that I'm not getting enough energy. Although, there are people who believe you can live just fine without food! Yesterday I noticed by afternoon that I was feeling rather drained and listless and hungry. However, after eating I didn't feel too bad (of course I had a big green smoothie, which always helps). Now, I am out of all cooked vegan food (ie burgers, sausages etc.) in preparation for going all raw in April. Hopefully, I will be getting enough energy from the food I eat to counteract any negative effects!

I am getting quite annoyed with my sore arm (the one I hurt falling off my bike). It's been almost a week and it's still quite sore. I think it's bad now because when I bend it, it pulls on the scab which is quite ouchies. I also find it difficult sleeping! I am hoping it heals soon. It's not just the skin damage, it's also the internal bruising I think, which makes it hurt when I'm just using the arm generally.

Now, I am feeling a bit sleepy again. I REALLY need to get to bed at 10:30 or so rather than midnight. I will make it my goal for tonight to be in bed at 10:30 and we'll see if I feel better and more rested tomorrow! A lot of people who go raw say you need less sleep, but I haven't noticed it too much so far! Now, I will go play a memory game with my daughter and probably have a bit of a rest/read (cause it's holidays after all!) I would really like to clean my office a bit, because the mess is really pissing me off... but right now I don't have the motivation or energy.

I bought some frozen summer fruits because I thought I should try and have a lunch time smoothie as well, for extra energy. I will just try for a small drink (not the three glasses or so that my smoothies usually are).  I am sure it is better to have completely raw, fresh fruit, but I know, blueberries for one are much less expensive when purchased raw than fresh. I think it's definitely better to have frozen than cooked things, but it's still not what I'd class as 100% ideal. I really need to get my finances in order so I can actually afford to buy more fresh stuff and have less frozen!

On a funny/annoying note. A couple of days ago I was reading about natural vision improvement, and ordered myself some pinhole glasses, and contemplated purchasing a course with exercises. Anyway, today I had taken my glasses off and was cleaning them when they broke! So now, I have no glasses! I wonder if this is the Law of Attraction in operation again ;) I didn't want glasses so... they broke! Hehe the problem is, of course, that I need to fix my vision BEFORE I can quit the specs!

Day 50!

Well it's half way to 100 days! Not that I ever planned for 100 days, but it's interesting to see what I can achieve in that length of time.

I managed to lose 1.2kg last week WOO HOO! Especially considering I only went riding three times and didn't do any EPOC. Weight loss is weird ;) May have been helped by the fact that I really didn't eat much last night though. Therefore I had a rather empty belly when I weighed myself.

Now, as it's school holidays, I imagine that exercise won't go as well as I'd like it to. Today is a sort of wet day. Not raining at the moment, but it has rained, and everything is rather damp. I have to do a bit of shopping *sigh* which is so much fun with kids (NOT!). Ahh well... and I told Kate she could spend some of her birthday money on headphones, so I'll have to take her somewhere she can buy some. I have to work out how much money she has left to spend. It's difficult to keep track!

Well, it's almost half past ten and I am sitting down with an alcoholic beverage (BAD ME) lol. I am contemplating the mess that is my office, and thinking that tomorrow it will be a good time to clean it! I am also going to my sister's house tomorrow for both a walk and a car wash. She wants to wash her car with the high pressure cleaner I've got, so I'm going to bring it to her house and I'll wash my car too! I also promised my youngest son that I'll play the Wii with him (unfortunately, he never wants to play Guitar Hero with me :( I rock at Guitar Hero... I am less talented at the other games he plays that I generally don't!) THEN I shall have a good go at cleanign this office. I simply can't function effectively in it as it is at the moment. I also need to clean out the froggy tank a bit... it needs fresh water and has some icky mouldy bits (I think they're bits that have fallen out of the cricket container).

I have also received a Feng Shui course, which I want to start learning (I have SOO much to do and so little time!!), however I think it could be beneficial if I can start sorting out the house and working on getting the flow of energy etc. right. which hopefully will help in other areas of my life that are stagnant too! Hmm I have learned that the position of my bed is wrong :( I think the problem is actually the DOOR which I can't move! That sucks ;) I wonder if there is a way around it? There really isn't another alternative for my bed in my room!

Hmm I have also learned that my desk faces the wrong way. I think it is maybe possible to move it... but a real PITA to do so (it's a big desk and the office isn't that large...I'd also have to move the pin board on the wall to move my bookcase over to it). However, easier to do that than move my bed! I will check the bed... but I think it's definitely the wrong way!

Day 49

Yup, I missed a day! Yesterday was pretty busy... had basketball in the morning, then had to go shopping, then had to tidy house, then had party for youngest child, then went out to tea etc. and ended up home at about 11.

The good thing was, we went to Pizza Hut and I didn't order any food (just a drink). I didn't even crave it that much. I mean, there was some desire for the food... but not enough to actually break down and eat it. Instead I had a biiig green smoothie before I went out (which made me very full) so I had less desire to eat. All in all, quite successful.

The other "bad" thing I had was an alcoholic drink on Friday night, as well as a few potato smiles (hehe). Not too many of those though. Again, I'm not beating myself up about it.

Today have to take the boys shopping for a present, and then taking them to a party for this afternoon. I will also have to drive my husband home later this evening which is errm... quite the fun journey (also means I need to charge my iPod). These things do sometimes make it harder to eat right! Hmm also looks like I need to get to the pet store to buy more crickets.

Hmm and the weather isn't looking good for the day.. there seems to be rain in the air. Rain is good and necessary, of course, but doesn't make for pleasant outdoor times lol.

Day 47

Well it's the last day of first term (WOW that went so fast!) and kids will be finishing school early today, so I should make the most of the time I've got to clean house etc. I should be going for a ride soon (NO falling off today!) which will be good exercise, because I won't be getting so many rides over the holidays (well, I may get the kids out a couple of times, but I doubt I'll be riding as hard as usual!) Still, I've planned to do some regular walking with my sister, which will also be good for the kids! I will probably also take the kids swimming as I have several family passes to the pool (as a result of renovations this week meaning the kids haven't got swimming lessons today).

I'll also be getting more into raw food eating once April starts (which WILL be interesting given that it's holiday time). However, I can't let holidays get in the way of my ongoing weight loss or commitment to health. Holiday time has been a challenge in the past, but I think I am over the challenge. I haven't had too many problems at all eating the way I am even with people around me eating other stuff. Maybe I have finally broken some of my food addictions ;)

Well been for a nice long ride, which was good. I am a bit annoyed as I seem to have a mildly infected fingernail (so I'll go put some tea tree oil and a bandaid on it) cause it's hurting when I type. I want to get two articles written today, AND I want to get a bit of housework done. Will have to get stuck into more housework tomorrow, too. That way it should be relatively tidy for the party.

Day 46

Well, today something funny/painful happened... I fell off my bike! It was silly... there's a gate across one of the roads I ride on (the road was blocked off when the bypass was put through, and now only emergency vehicles can go through, to get to the forest if needed). Anyway, my friend had opened the gate on her way to my place, and I was riding along debating whether I try and ride through the open gate or walk through. Now, when I say it was open, it wasn't open far... and it was open towards me, so I sort of had to turn fairly sharply to get through. Anyway, it didn't work! I rode through, and my handblebar clipped the gate latch and down I went! Lucky I was wearing sleeves though, or my arm would look a LOT worse.

The bad thing was though, I sort of went into shock as a result of the fall. Why??? I don't know! It hurt but it wasn't THAT bad. I was able to get straight back up and onto the bike, but before I'd ridden another 100m I had to get off and sit down. Fortunately we were close to my friend's house, so she was able to go and get some lollies. After a snake I felt better. We kept riding, not really, really far... but still, there's all the hills. I was okay until I got back home, when I felt faint again and had to lie down for about ten minutes.

Now I'm all patched up and feeling mostly okay! The pain seems to have gone from my arm (I put some topical anaesthetic on though which may have helped). My hand aches a wee bit, but I guess I jarred it going down. Well, at least I didn't hurt my foot, so I'm not limping lol. I am very much over limping!

So, apart from eating a couple of lollies today my diet is going okay! I must excuse myself for that though, because at the time I needed them, and even though I know sugar is very bad, sometimes it's helpful!

I was planning on doing some solid bathroom cleaning today, but I have this raw patch on my hand that's got a bandaid on it, so I really don't want to be scrubbing stuff with harsh cleaners while I've got a patch of no skin on my hand! Eeep! However, I can focus on general tidying, which really needs to get done. Wow this has been such a lazy week for me! I actually feel a wee bit guilty because I do need to focus more on work and earning an income.

Hmm well it's night again, and today was uber unproductive, I didn't even get any articles written! AND I wanted to do two :( GRRR... I'm not very happy with my lazy self this week. And as the next two weeks are holidays for the kids, I know they won't be majorly productive for moi. Hmm well I could get started on my writing course I suppose, and focus on my novel a bit. I still have SOME time to me so it's not like all is lost! I just need to kick myself in the bum and get moving!

Day 45

Well, yeah, I've been slack this week, but yesterday I did eat pretty well, so I can't get down on myself for that. Although, I probably could stand to remember lunch more often! I do sometimes forget to eat lunch at all, and if I'm snackish just eat a couple of dates. Of course, people think more of calorie consumption than they should. One of the proven ways of extending life in the animal kingdom is calorie restriction, so having a "high metabolism" and being able to burn off lots of food isn't always the way to go!

I also didn't get to bed early last night, as I was too busy "discussing" stuff with my husband online (for that you may as well read arguing). In the end I didn't get the laundry or dishes done until late, which kept me up. It was still a little earlier than it has been, but definitely not early enough. On the upside, I do tend to fall asleep quite easily lately, and I'm not feeling too tired now. I am preparing to go out for my ride, because I can't keep missing it! I also need to write at least one article today. I will also do some more focus on my novel, and try and get a little housework done. I have borrowed my sister's steam cleaner for the floors, so I want to get them clean. The laundry is also bothering me, so I need to get stuck into it a bit. I need to clean my daughter's room too, cause her birthday party is Saturday. At least if it is relatively tidy I will be happy with it. I need to get her to get stuck into it a bit, and I want the boys' room tidy too.

One thing I'm not happy with this past term (yeah, as a mum I still think in "terms" haha) is that I didn't get the house sorted out or tidied to the standard I wanted. I didn't expect perfection yet, but I did want to be further along the journey. However, I stalled along the way. No, I don't like housework, but I don't like it even more when I'm living in a messy, untidy environment. It is a goal this year to get that sorted out once and for all. It's not the only thing I have to sort out, but it is sort of major ;)

My writing is probably the MOST major, just because it's my career and I need to earn an income ;) Of course, there's also my weight and health which is major as it impinges on a great deal of my life and affects how much and what I can do. It also affects my self esteem negatively, which makes it hard for me to participate in social things as I am often very self conscious about my size. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin!

Well, I took my "after" pictures to compare them to my "before" pictures. Quite honestly, while I see a bit of difference, I don't see a lot. Side on there's the most difference, because my tummy doesn't stick out as far and I just look narrower that way. The front on pic the biggest difference I can see is that my double chin has shrunk (YAY for that). Still, I don't look like I'd win a competition from the changes thus far ;) Nevertheless, I'm still happy with what's occurred. I will try and take a picture every six weeks or so and compare it to the last. I am wearing the same clothes too, so I will try and do that (they're not that revealing though... if I'd worn something tighter the change may have been more obvious). Well, looking at myself it's clear I'm still very much an overweight person. Of course, that's to be expected as I'm still 68kg and thus still obese (although very close to being just overweight and not obese). I need to get down to 56kg to be in the healthy weight category, and ideally lower than that (for me healthy weight is between 45kg and 56kg... so that's why I'm aiming for 50kg which is somewhere in the middle. From 50kg I can decide whether or not I need to lose more.

Anyway, I am not losing heart as I once may have done. Even though I doubt I'll be where I want to be by May 1st, I know I will lose the weight, because for 6 weeks I have been losing weight steadily. I have rarely, in that time, pigged out or ate badly. Even when I did eat junk food, for whatever reason, I was very moderate. Then, I went back to eating properly. I have been even better since going vegan, and I haven't eaten meat once since that time. I did eat some things that were vegetarian rather than vegan, but that wasn't much. Okay, the weight hasn't "fallen" off me as I hoped it would. But that's okay! It's going, and that's what counts!! After all, losing 500g to 1kg a week is a good rate. Even if I only manage 500g a week for the rest of the year, I'll still have lost about 17kg by the start of summer (December 1st), which will get me very close to my initial goal of 50kg. And hell, if I'm 51kg by summer I'll be feeling GOOD! Yeah, I won't be perfection, yeah, I'll have a way to go, but still for me that will be FANTASTIC as I haven't spent a summer at that weight in years and years. In fact, I can't remember the last summer I was that weight... probably the summer of 1994/1995 when I started going out with my husband. Well, I would have been 48kg or so then, BUT I put on something like 13kg that year! And even when I lost weight after having my third child, I still would have weighed more than 51kg that summer (and even then I was feeling pretty good). And 51kg compared to the 74kg I was last summer is FANTASTIC!

I still intend to put 200% effort in this April in the hopes that I can shed a good amount of weight, and at least not be quite so fat by my high school reunion, but I won't beat myself up about not getting to "healthy" weight. If I can get as low as 60kg I'll be absolutely rapt. I am hoping that with extra exercise and 100% raw food the weight will fall off a little faster. After April, I will probably not worry about speed as much as consistency.

This is the FIRST TIME ever I have been able to consistently lose weight for any length of time like this. Yes, I have lost weight before and gained it, but not as well as this. And that's the thing, when I was younger and not particularly overweight, I used to crash diet, but I never needed to do it for more than a couple of weeks, so I was always in the mentality of losing weight FAST and then going back to normal. Well, that's just not a reality for me anymore (and there is no more going back to "normal", there is just the new normal, which is eating properly). You can't lose an extra 24kg in a few weeks. It takes a long time and sustained effort.

So, how do I feel overall? Well pretty good. I did set my hopes higher than what I've achieved, but the fact that for the first time I've stuck with something... well that's great and I am very, very proud of myself for that!

Now, I just have to sort out my other crap and things will be even better ;) Most crucially I need to get my finances in order, and hopefully do so without having to get a JOB! I have nothing against working per se, I just don't want to work for anyone else in that sort of capacity again. At least, not if I can help it ;) I'll take a part time job I can do during the school day if I really need to, of course. But I'd rather work on my freelancing and my novel. Once I get a novel accepted, and hopefully an advance, I'll just stick at that!

Yes, have to be positive and say it that way! No room for negativity ;) Of course it could take me awhile. However, I have high hopes for my new novel, and if I put the right sort of effort and committment into it that it needs, it should be a good book!

Day 44

Hmm I feel as if this is going to be a fairly slack and lazy week, which is sort of bad as it's the last week of term for the kids, and after this we've got two weeks of holidays! I didn't end up going riding yesterday, because I had to post a large letter (which I couldn't shove in my bag to go riding) and I needed to go shopping AND come home in time to bake a cake and tidy up a little before my mum arrived.

Sooo... I need to go for a nice ride today to make up for it :) Sadly the weather isn't quite as nice (it's only 12 degrees and overcast), but errm at least I won't overheat! I also need to get stuck heavily into HOUSEWORK to get this house spotless by Saturday! Eeep! So, although I feel like being lazy, I can't be TOO lazy because nothing will get done. Maybe I will just be a BIT lazy...hehe do like a couple of hours cleaning a day, and maybe a little bit of work towards the old novel or something. I should also be looking for more paid work, but I don't really want to straight before the holidays, because I could find it a struggle to et the work done.

Hmm... well due to a few late nights, I was tired today so didn't go for a ride. That's the second day in a row I've had no exercise. Quite honestly I feel rather crap right now (although that could be cause I just had a sleep...)

Oh, and I also ATE badly last night. I had chips and potato and gravy (from KFC) as well as a bottle of Pepsi Max AND I ate a small slice of (non vegan) birthday cake. This can't be good for a person who usually eats well ;) Hmm and that's after Saturday where I also ate badly. I must go to bed EARLY tonight, although because I've had a nap today, who knows how I'll sleep?? I shouldn't be treating this entire week as a dead loss... that is just stupid. I still have a lot of housework etc. to get done. AND I do have some articles to write (just one or two). BUT I need a solid night's sleep. I need to be in bed by 10:30 not midnight or later. (I will not mention how I got to bed at midnight last night and got up at 5am to kill a monster in Castle Age lol).

Day 43 - Week 7

Yes, it's not an official "week" anymore, but I'm still going so I'll still write down where I'm up to. I lost more weight last week, not a massive amount, but then again I wasn't expecting to!

Hmm... I'm a bit upset because this weekend we're supposed to be catching up with a friend I haven't seen for several months. Until a week ago, I actually didn't consider her a "friend" at all, because I thought she'd de-friended me off Facebook, but it turns out she thought I de-friended her?? So I haven't spoken to her for months and months (well she doesn't live locally). The weird thing is, she is more my husband's friend than mine, and she de-friended him deliberately... so it never occurred to me that she had stopped being my friend by accident. Well, doesn't that all sound so ridiculously high schoolish??

Anyway, I was okay with seeing her again, until my husband told me she'd lost 25kg... now I am completely paranoid because although I've lost weight, I'm still fat, whereas she obviously isn't anymore! It is stupid, I know... I shouldn't feel bad because someone else has lost weight and I'm still fat. But, there is a bit of odd history there that sort of makes it worse (no, I'm not going into it). So even though I was feeling better about myself, more attractive etc. it's like I've been thrust straight back into fatty land, which makes me feel rather bad and hopeless. Stupid, I know. I don't worry about hanging out with friends who were always thin, but somehow hanging out with someone who, when I last saw her, was the same sort of size as me, and is now heaps thinner, just makes me feel quite bad. It's like I've been putting in a ton of effort for nothing.

Yes, I KNOW that is stupid. I KNOW that by the end of the year I won't be obese or even overweight anymore, so it is stupid to feel as if I've done nothing. Losing almost 6kg isn't NOTHING. It's just not 25kg... If I'd lost 25kg I'd be feeling fan-freaking-tastic! Of course, I would have had to lose it just too quickly... and I don't lose weight like that.

It's like... I start feeling good about myself, and then I'm put into a situation where I'm the ugliest, fattest person and it jsut pushes me back into insecurity and feeling unattractive. Yes, in the real world there are a zillion thinner, prettier girls than me. But when I'm on my own, I start feeling good about what I've achieved.

ARGH I hate beating myself up about stupid shit like this! SILLY SILLY SILLY!!!!

Anyway, I shouldn't be miserable today. It is my little girl's birthday and she is now 8! I can't believe how fast time flies or how old she is getting! Geez in just 10 years she'll be 18. Freaky. I should also be happy that I have accomplished this weight loss on my own, with no drugs or pills, and it's been steady and regular. I've exercised most week days, even when I haven't been perfect, and I'm looking better and fitting into clothes that I didn't fit into before. I think my skin is clearer too, so overall I look at myself and am fairly happy with how I am going. And I should NOT let something stupid make me feel as if I am a failure because I haven't achieved more.

Anyway, I have many more months to achieve my perfection! (Well not perfection, but as good as I can be!) so I won't let a hiccup or a situation make me feel bad. I will congratulate myself on where I am now and where I am going.

Day 42

Well, it's here. The final day of the six week challenge. Tomorrow's weigh in will give me my final results! It's almost midday and I am only eating breakfast now, because I didn't get to eat before taking my daughter to basketball. I then took her to Bunnings to buy a plant (for her birthday) and we also ended up getting a hanging basket and a hook for it (will need my husband to put the hook up on the wall though...). Finally got home to eat!

Now, I have to decide how to spend the rest of the day! I need to get stuck into some heavy duty housework next week, due to my daughter's party next Saturday, so my focus will probably be that rather than writing which is my usual focus. And THEN it's two weeks of school holidays, which means I won't be able to do my regular exercise (will try and go walking with my sister and the kids, as she's having a holiday too) and I won't get plenty of child-free time to focus on work! Which doesn't mean NONE, it just means it's not as easy because I have more distractions, noise, concerns etc.

Hmm... for some reason I am feeling sort of down today, and I'm not sure why. Maybe it is just one of those "things"... there's no real reason for it. Sure, I have a lot of work to do over the next week, but that's fine. In general the house is fairly messy, and I do find that depressing, so that could be a contributing factor. Usually having a clean house is a bit of an upper for me (and it's not something I accomplish frequently enough!) Even when the living area and kitchen is tidy I feel pretty good. So yeah, I have to get onto that and get some of the mess sorted out.

Tomorrow will be busy in that direction, because my mum is coming by at about half past two to see my daughter for her birthday, so I want it to be reasonably tidy by then (well the main areas of the house). I also have to make the cake at some point, earlyish so it's completely ready by the time she gets home from school. AND I also have to EXERCISE!

At the moment I am making vegan muffins, which aren't great for my diet but my daughter wanted to make them (of course, now she's playing with a friend so my son is helping me instead lol). I guess she really just wants to EAT then. So, hope they're yummy! Of course, I will try and restrict myself so I'm not eating too many of them, because of course, they're not majorly healthy lol. Maybe just one a day! And when the kids are eating birthday cake, which I can't eat myself (no, I'm not making vegan birthday cake, although that's something I could try).

Well, just sort of finished making the muffins (they're in the oven) boy the mixture was sloppy! I think it could have done with less milk (rice milk!) or more flour. Or something! However, it's NOT a good way to end this six week challenge! Eating a muffin!

Ahh well, for me it's not about six weeks, it's about ongoing weight loss that will get me to my weight goal once and for all, and will make me healthier in the process. By next summer, I aim to be 50kg or under, and not ashamed to go to the pool in bathers :D (At the moment I wear these sort of long gym pants and a covering top when I go to the pool... errm and I didn't even go last summer because my weight had ballooned far past my point of comfort). Ideally I'll have conquered my cellulite too! Fat thighs are bad enough, but lumpy cellulite is just URGH. I also have stretch marks, but there's not much I can do about that, just hope they fade in time.

So, I have at least 8 months to achieve that goal, and I think it's definitely doable, especially if I keep on the path I'm on. I really want to push things along in April due to my high school reunion on 1st of May, but after that it's really just a matter of keeping on the path I'm on and making the right decisions 99% of the time.

Of course, my weight isn't my complete focus for the year, as I have SO MUCH else I need to work on and do! It's a major issue, sure, but it's a side issue compared to career and actually making enough money to survive (which at the moment is uncertain, although I am sure I have the ability to succeed, I just need to get my rear in gear and get stuck into things fully). I REALLY need to get this writing course done... at least the first part, and then I can pause until I get to the second part (after the first has been sent back). It's self paced but I don't wanna take years ;) I actually want to get to the useful bits that will help me earn more of an income!

I really don't want to be doing freelance work for other people forever, I want to be writing my own books, but I do need to develop more skills along the way to achieve that. And if I can eventually get freelance writing gigs that pay well (as in a few hundred for an article rather than $10 or $15), then I can spend more time writing my own stuff, while getting paid well to do other stuff!

Hmm...I've also realised that I'm very embarrassed when people come to visit my house and it looks like a bomb site. I can't imagine what they tell their parents (cause it's generally kids lol). I would love to have things tidy and completely in order. That's something else to aim for by the end of the year (of course, it's an ongoing process).

So, I'll write out now what I want to achieve by the end of the year:

1. To weigh 50kg or less
2. To have a tidy, organised house
3. To know conversational German (and be able to read most German stuff, at least understanding enough that it's not complete gobbledegook to me)
4. To have finished my writing course
5. To have written and completed at least 5 novels, all of which will be with publishers etc. looking for a house (not published, but at least doing the rounds).

So that's it! FIVE things! And I need to do things towards each of these things every week without fail. Let's see how I do ;)

Day 41

Well! What can I say about today? Not much that's good, that's for sure.

This morning started okay with a healthy smoothie. Then we went to basketball for my son, went to pick my sister up and then take her to a Body Shop party (for people I knew back where I used to live). At the party I ate a few rice crackers, avoiding anything non-vegan. Went back to the roadhouse and had two fried potato cakes for tea (not healthy). Oh, and I forgot to mention we stopped at Macca's on the way, where I bought some fries. I also had some creaming soda. At the roadhouse I also had red liquorice and Pepsi Max. When we went back to my sister's place, I had a glass of wine too...

So, that's my eating for the day! Not healthy ;) But still, it was VEGAN. So errm that was something ;)

Anyway, I'm not feeling so amazing now ;) But I guess this is no real surprise. This is the worst day I've eaten since I was last at the roadhouse a couple of weeks ago (I had a packet of chips and red liquorice then), however I ate fruit later and had no alcohol. In fact, I think that's the only alchohol I've had in WEEKS. I generally go okay without it! So, eating wise AND exercise wise today was a bit of a wash. BUT it would have been worse had I not been a vegan now, because I would have bought a burger as well as fries from Macca's... I would have had a muffin and some sandwiches or something at the party, and probably some spread or drink, as well as coffee, and I would have had more to eat for tea than a couple of potato cakes. So, overall, being vegan has served me well.

Still if I hadn't been there, I would have had fruit for lunch, and a vegan burger or sausages and smoothie for tea. So, well, you can't win em all as they say.

Tomorrow is another day, and I'll do the best I can to finish the six week challenge on a high note!

Day 40

Hard to believe it, but six weeks are almost up! And, amazingly, I've written here every single one of those days hehe. Well, I guess I haven't lost as much weight as I originally aimed to do, and I haven't followed the program properly hehe being as how I decided to go vegan half way through! However, I am definitely fitter, at least 100% fitter, if not more! AND I've maintained the first steady weightloss that I've been able to accomplish in literally years. Basically, I've stuck with an improved diet far longer than I've ever ever managed to before.

Last time I lost a significant amount of weight it was using diet drugs (the prescription type) that work because they decrease your appetite and you lose the desire to eat. Sure, it works, but it didn't work for the long term, because gradually I put all the weight back on plus more. I ended up fatter than I was after giving birth to my last child, which is somewhere I never, ever thought I'd be.

Technically I'm still obese, and that's a tough thing to deal with. I never thought I'd be so overweight that I'd end up clinically obese, but it happened. Sure I'm not one of those massively huge people, in fact, compared to a lot of people I don't even look that huge. I was reading somewhere that a large number of obese people don't consider themselves obese, and I think it's because we all think of "obese" as those really enormous people, you know, the ones who wear size 24 clothes. We don't think of people who fit into size 14-16 as obese, but they can be. Actually getting a BMI of 30 doesn't immediately make you look massively huge, so you really just look "overweight" when in fact you're clinically "obese". Most of my clothing is only size 14, so yeah, at my fattest that's what I was still wearing, even though I'm obese. Partly, this is because I'm so short! For me to be a healthy weight, I need to be size 8 or 10, whereas a tall woman could wear size 14-16 and be perfectly healthy.

Anyway, that's just a little philosophical musing! The positive thing from all of this is I now KNOW I can lose the weight and get back to a healthy weight. I know this, because for 6 weeks I've eaten well. Although my diet has changed markedly, I'm STILL eating well (just differently). I rarely eat junk food, and when I do I don't eat much. Now I'm vegan, it makes it harder to eat out at a restaurant I've discovered, but I don't break down and eat a burger or something because it's just not available to me now. This doesn't mean that one day I won't eat fries ;) However, for now and for the most part, I've been good. And if I can do that for 6 weeks, I can do it for life. Obviously I'm not going to stop now, because I do have a high school reunion coming up in a few weeks. I want to maximise my weight loss before that time!!! I am thinking of trying 100% raw for the month of April in order to achieve that goal, so we'll have to see how I go!

My aim was to be "not overweight" by the time the reunion comes around, and I'm not sure I can achieve that, because that would require losing probably an unrealistic number of kilograms between now and then. But I can aim to be as healthy and fit as I can possibly make myself in that time, and then not tie myself up in knots because I'm fatter than I wanted to be. There is no doubt in my mind that by the time the end of the year rolls around I'll be at my goal weight, because I can definitely achieve it in that time, even if the weight loss rate drops I'll still get there. Some of that is just logic, and the rest is determination!

In April I may also increase my exercise, so that I'm riding further each day, and I will definitely push the EPOC. I do want maximum results for April, so I know what I am capable of achieving!

Well I have written the article today, I just want to go through it and ensure it's okay before submitting to the client. Hopefully it's what he's after! That will discharge this week's duty, but I'll try and get next week's done on Monday. Mind you, Monday will be sort of busyish as I will be making a certain child a birthday cake, as my youngest is about to turn 8! Hard to believe, but true ;)

Day 39

Well, went for a good ride today, and it's now 11:11 and I've done no work! This week has been rather slack as far as work is concerned, although I have devised the start of a plot and a concept for my next book which is a GOOD THING hehe. I do need to get stuck into it a bit more though, and start developing more plot points. I also have to write at least one article for a client, although that's not a massive job. It's still something I put off though ;) I really just need to sit down and do it!

I haven't said much about my diet lately, and that's because it's really standard. My usual smoothie at breakfast, a piece or two of fruit for lunch, some dates for snacks occasionally, and a vegie burger or vegie sausages for tea plus a green smoothie. I sometimes have a cup of herbal tea with honey as well. And that's it!

I haven't done any EPOC this week, which I have to get back into, but I have gone riding every day, so I'm still getting regular exercise. Perhaps I could do with MORE exercise, but overall it's not a bad thing the amount that I actually do. I raise my heart rate, get my lungs working, my limbs moving, and my fitness HAS improved, because I can definitely achieve more than I used to.

Well I did some work on my new novel, but more just planning and thinking about it than writing. However, that's okay because otherwise I'd probably just be writing unplanned rubbish that would need scrapping in the end anyway ;)

We are going through fruit so fast at the moment that I had to go to the shops to buy some more today. Phew! It will end up costing me a ton. Ahh well, better that than eating junk!

Day 38

Argh can't believe it's already Wednesday and I've achieved so little this week! I have really been having a lazy one ;) I mean, it's 9:40am and I haven't even started work yet. I've been procrastinating! I have a new job with 5 articles to write that I haven't started AND I want to get stuck into my own writing. I promised myself I'd start every day off with my own work for two hours and then do other stuff. Hmm... and I really need to get the house cleaner (although next week I will be doing major house cleaning due to my daughter's party the following weekend). Of course, my foot should be 100% by next week! (Well maybe not the slow to heal toe... but that's not really affecting me unless I move it too far).

So, I will write what I really NEED to accomplish today and go from there:
1. 2000 words of my new book.
2. 1 article for client
3. Tidy floor quickly and sort laundry (shouldn't stress my foot too much).

There...that's not much, is it? I should be able to do that!

WOW...so I just managed to waste one hour... and I'm not sure what I was doing in that time... GEEZ it's amazing how much time I can waste just checking emails and stuff. Now it's time for me to go riding and I haven't even STARTED my work yet! This puts me a couple of hours behind already. This isn't shaping up to be a good week AT ALL.

So, I'll ride my bike, come back and do my 2000 words then probably have lunch before writing the article (I need to do the 5 articles over a month so it's no hurry, but I should get the first done this week...) After that's finished I'll do some brief housework, and then I'll try and get back to more writing. I will also try and draw up a full weekly schedule (with a bit of flexibility thrown in, cause I need it!) This will include projects that I want to complete or get started, so at least I am making a bit of headway (including my writing course and learning German. I also have some PD related stuff I want to get stuck into).

Hmm what did I accomplish? Well I rode my bike ;) As for my book, I can't say I did NOTHING as I did write some more notes, and fleshed out my ideas a bit. I got to a point where I was really happy with what I had planned! I do want to break it down a bit into scenes and see if I can write scene by scene. When I was doing that for a client, I found it quite easy because I knew exactly what I had to write (well I had to flesh out a single sentence or two into a full scene but I knew what had to happen). Also, the first book I wrote I did that way... I would jot down the scenes freehand, just a paragraph, and then sit and write them. So, maybe for me this is a good writing method?? Sometimes I'm not sure how much planning to do and I overanalyse everything. Some authors are meticulous planners and others are "organic" and just write what comes to them! Maybe I am somewhere in between? Most of my books I've had a rough idea of where I was going (even if it was just a chapter or two ahead lol). So, I will try and do a scene by scene plan and see how I go from there. I don't want to spoil it at all, but I think if I know WHAT I have to write it will come a bit easier.

Anyway, time for me to do a bit of reading, feed some froggies and then have an early night!

Day 37

Well after a large carb-laden meal last night, I'm ready to get back into some better eating habits! Not that I ever really fell out of them ;) it was just one night and for a good cause! I certainly didn't waver in my beliefs or what I was trying to achieve, and for that I'm proud.

Well, today started slowly, but I have been focusing on my own work. I do have a new job to start doing, which I'd like to start this afternoon or tomorrow. I'm behind with the housework, but I won't do much of that today because of my foot. It gets waaaay too irritated when I walk on it, so I'm better off sitting in front of the pute for the moment! However, I'll still go on my ride, cause that's too important to miss.

So, today, I'd like to start WRITING my new book, and not just planning (I have about 3 pages of handwritten notes). I'd like to do 2000 words. I don't know if I'll stick with 2k a day, or try and do 5k a day. If I manage 5k a day for five days a week, I'll get a rough draft done in three weeks. Although, I'll probably complete my first three chapters and get together a query and synopsis and send it off, and THEN finish the remainder. That way I feel like I'm accomplishing more. Well, it's not more, but it means something is happening in the background. As in, an editor is looking at the first three chapters while I'm finishing off the book! Then if they want it after a few weeks, I'll have the entire thing to send them, and if they don't want it... then I've got the entire thing to send elsewhere! The entire writing process should take no more than a month. Then, it's the next book to start working on! This way I should get a few books written this year, which is A. good writing practice, and B. better chance of publication! At least, that's the idea ;)

I have put bids in for a couple of jobs which will take a lot of time each day, BUT I still have to put my own writing first! That's crucial for my long term success. Because once I'm published and earning money that way, I'm not going to be freelancing for other people anymore unless something really great comes up! Therefore my own writing has to come FIRST. This isn't to say that I won't do a good job writing other stuff, it just means mine must be prioritised, or I'll ALWAYS be doing writing for others and never for myself.

However, I won't complain if I get jobs that will pay me a couple of thousand for a month! I definitely need the the funds ;) AND I also have to do my writing course! I may spend this afternoon with that and one article that I need to write for a client. Oh, and I'll probably get another article to do as well from a client I've done work for before. That's generally a single article job and pays reasonably well for the quantity of work. That may be tomorrow's job if he gives it to me by then.

Anyway, it's 10:30, so riding time and then I'll spend the rest of the morning doing my book, and some of the arvo with the writing course and the rest with the new article.

Okay... deep breathe! Now... I must start writing! I have no idea why I get myself sort of nervous and tied up in knots about getting started ;) It's silly! Once upon a time I'd just get an idea sit down and GO with no fears. However, over the years (being unsuccessful in finding publication) I've lost a lot of confidence and it makes it harder to actually start writing. There is no real logic behind this, I know. Well...maybe there IS a logic. Instead of just sitting down and having fun I sit down and worry that it won't be good enough. Now, that is stupid, because if I NEVER get it down then well it won't be good enough cause it won't EXIST. And, of course, I won't ever be a successful writer if I don't WRITE!

Well what can I say! Today was a bit of a dead loss (I seem to be saying this a lot lately!!) I did some writing (716 words to be precise) which was a start! However, I was feeling tired (I really need to go to sleep earlier each night) so I went for a lie down on the bed to read a bit and then nap. Well, the problem with napping is I wake up grumpy! Not good! Of course, we also have kids around and the house is a mess, but with my foot I just don't have the will to tidy it. The thing is, I can get around on my foot (I have been riding, I went shopping yesterday, I took the kids out to tea etc.) However, when I do it irritates it and it begins to itch really badly. And it's not so much just an itch, it's also pain so I can't put any weight where the sting is. Seriously, the sole of the foot is the WORST place for a sting! Anywhere else doesn't impede your movement! I have found that the pain/itch is okay if I'm not moving it. So, if I'm sitting or lying it's fine, if I walk it irritates it. Then I have to wait for the itch to stop, because I can't actually scratch it (it would hurt and get worse). Stupid ant bite!

Now, looking around I think part of my issue here is that I am in a bit of a MESS. I find it difficult to work effectively in an untidy room. It's not the sort of mess that takes hours to clean up (at least the study isn't lol... I can't say the same for certain children's bedrooms etc) If I got tuck into tidying the study it'd probably be a 10 - 15 minute job (takes longer to sort papers etc.)

I also want to get back into the living room. I HAD it tidy and it's been let slide over the past couple of days and my goal was to AVOID that happening. I want to be able to clean an area and then just maintain it daily. I was doing okay for awhile, but yeah, it's sliding! I can't blame the foot 100% but the foot is the reason I haven't sort of re-tidied the last couple of days. I find that I'm much more irritable when I'm surrounded by mess, and better when I'm not! AND on the 27th my daughter has a birthday party at the house, so I HAVE to get her room sorted out before then (not to mention the rest of the house must be tidy). This means, I need to get off my butt and do it.

Maybe I overwhelm myself by telling myself I have too many things to do? I have a whole list of things I want to accomplish and I want to do bits each day. I'm thinking I should break it down across the week though... so one day I will do my writing course, another day I will do German, etc. etc. Then I can give each a solid block of time rather than a bit each day that never ends up happening because something else runs over.

Pfft...it is sort of hot in here. Funny weather! It was getting quite cold for a bit and I was using the heater, and now it's quite warm. Apparently it's 27 outside, and as it was warm yesterday too the house is quite warm now. I just gave the study a very, very quik straighten up (not perfect at all) but felt hot so I stopped hehe. This room does get sort of warm, even though it doesn't get direct sunlight on the window (there is a small window on the side that gets a bit but it has a blind on the outside that cuts out most of it). Well, it looks as if tomorrow will be another hot one then it will start cooling down a bit. I do try and make the most of the sun at this time of year because there will be fewer and fewer warm sunny days as we head further into autumn.

Day 36 - Week 6!

Well it's the final week of the challenge. Except, for me, the challenge keeps going! However, it's the last week of the official challenge for me ;) Well all up I've lost 5.1kg in 5 weeks. So, it's not too bad. I did hope for better though! I realise that the weight loss so far has been a good pace and realistic, and if I didn't have a particular time in mind as to when I want to reach my goal, it probably wouldn't matter too much to me! I mean, if I had an entire year to do it 1kg a week would be FANTASTIC because I'd easily make it by the end of the year to my goal weight (and probably beyond the 50kg I've put on the tracker...to me that's sort of a maximum, but I think I'd be reasonably happy there... at least fully clothed!)

Anyway, I will continue for the rest of March doing as I'm doing. April I will probably go the 30 day all raw challenge where I don't cook any food at all! At the moment I'm having something cooked every day, but I think for the final one month stretch to the 1st of May I would like to kick it up a notch higher. I will also probably try and fit in more cycling in April as well (which means I need to get in gear and accomplish a few more goals in March so I have the time to achieve this... which means finish sorting out the house pretty well, so I don't have to spend 1.5 hours a day cleaning over and above my usual chores).

However, for all that I'm still technically obese, I do feel A LOT better. While I would like to end my official obesity by the end of this week (which means losing 1.7kg) I won't beat myself up if it doesn't happen. The fact is, I do feel better about myself now. My tummy has definitely gone down a lot (as I said in an earlier post it was getting hard to bend over because my tummy got in the way, and I had never experienced that before except when I was preggers). I fit into jeans now (sure they're the biggest jeans I've got, but just five weeks ago I couldn't have done them up... even two weeks ago when I first put them on it was a struggle to get them done up... now they are feeling pretty comfortable). I imagine in another 5 weeks the jeans will be too big and I can fit into a smaller pair! Fortunately, I have plenty of clothes of various sizes so I don't have to worry too much about that ;) I still have the Levis I bought overseas 16 years ago (lol that sounds soooo long ago... but it doesn't feel it!) and that are still in good condition. However, I think to wear them I'll need to be under 50, cause I was in mid 40s when I bought them. Even then if I put on a bit of weight they'd get tightish! I think I have 4 pairs (I bought them in Barstow California for $25 each... in Australia at the time it would cost $110 for a pair of 501s... not sure what they cost now!)

Anyway, my ultimate goal is to fit comfortably in those jeans again! I don't think I've been able to wear them since early 1995 (that was the year I started going out with my husband and I put on a ton of weight, and even at my thinnest since then I've never been able to get back into my jeans). So, yeah, the year I turn 37 I want to drop back to the weight I was at 21! This isn't unrealistic, but it does call for a certain amount of dedication and hard work! However, it will be worth it :) And thinking about it really does motivate me! I'd love to rid myself of my "mummy tummy" which has been a real problem for me since I had kids, even when I did lose weight after my third child (got into the low 50s then and kept it off for awhile, but eventually it came back with interest added). The problem is my tummy is very stretched and saggy...and I'm hoping that when the body fat drops low enough, I can get rid of the fat pocket from under the skin and the skin will tighten up again. I did read somewhere that the skin SHOULD be elastic enough to do that. I have some doubts, but it's worth a shot. Otherwise it's a visit to the plastic surgeon and several thousand $$$$... eep... I'd rather avoid that if possible!

Anyway, I did finish the book I aimed to finish last week. Since then I've got a new job (only a smallish one though) but it was one I got without even trying, so I can't complain about that! There is another potential job though, which I am turning down. Waaaay too much effort for far too little reward, that one! Insane! I will do cheap articles if I know the content and can pretty much write off the bat, however, if it requires a lot of research there's no way I'll write a $5 article!

This week is also when I start writing for ME! I have vowed that the first 2 hours of my writing time will be dedicated to my own writing. I am also doing a writing course (self paced) that I have yet to really get stuck into, so I want to do that as well. I need to get that first assignment off, and then I can forget it for a couple of weeks until I hear back from them (all assignments except the first one can be sent in by email, but the first one I need to post back to the UK so it will take awhile before I hear anything back about it). So, I need to start writing a NEW book for ME this week! Once I've spent 2 hours on it and done some of my writing assignment, THEN I can do something for clients. I also need to start bidding on new jobs, which means getting together my portfolio (off my old computer). So, lots to do and I better get started! Today is also EPOC day AND I need to go shopping!

WELL! Today got thrown right out the window! It's 12:30 and I haven't done any of my own writing yet. I went on my ride, got home and checked the mail and discovered that my son had won a scholarship. I was so excited, I messaged my husband, rang my parents and chatted, and filled out all the forms I need (just need hubby's signature which I can't get until the weekend). Anyway, it's now 12:30 lol. AND I have EPOC, housework and shopping to do! I also want to do a bid for an Elance job which, if I win it, will pay me for a month (a reasonable amount for a month anyway). I really need to get stuck into work as my son's scholarship is for 50% tuition for school starting next year, and I still have to find the other 50% to pay ;) (it will be close to $5000 for the year... so not dreadful... but still, a definite challenge considering I'm fairly broke!). I then have two years before I have to worry about paying for my second child's tuition (I always said that I wouldn't send them to different schools, even if I have to pay full fee for the others, who I doubt would qualify for scholarships...they're not unintelligent, just not way above average). BUT it means really focussing on work, making sure I don't go into debt this year (with the Visa) and if possible getting some money put aside so I can pay easily when the time comes.

Ooh and I STILL have to pay school fees for this year (definitely not too bad at the school they're at now... at the last school it was $150 per child...this year it's $50 for each of the first two and $25 for the third). BUT it still has to come from my pocket which is woefully empty at the moment!

Well, I will do the bid for this job, then I will do my EPOC and housework. I will definitely do some writing today, but it will probably not be until after the kids get home from school. I'll also have to take the kids out for tea to celebrate!) Good for them, not so good for vegan mummy ;) ahh well!

Well, I managed to go shopping, but now it's 3:20 and the kids will be home soon, so for the most part today has been a bit of a wash! Well, that sometimes happens. It's just when it happens TOO frequently that it's a bad thing! The house is still messy, and I contemplated doing a bit of the housework, but my foot is quite sore and itchy from walking around the shops (stupid ant!) I am hoping it will be feeling better tomorrow! Of course, the day's still young ;) there is plenty of time to get some writing done, or at least PLANNING for the book I'm going to write. I did promise myself it would be my priority, though and I'd spend 2 hours writing before doing any other work related activity. It's sort of the "pay yourself first" concept. Usually I put my work behind other people's work and what I want to do doesn't get done. I need to turn it around and do MY work first!

Well! Had La Porchetta's for tea and I am STUFFED! I am not sure if it was completely vegan... but I had gnocci with a tomato based sauce. The gnocci may have had eggs for all I know! But I did my best. Of course, it was loaded with carbs and I am very full now! However, it's kinda good in weight loss to have a high calorie day as it errm helps kickstart you along sort of! So if I go back to eating well after that, I should end up losing extra weight. Or so I hope ;)

Day 35

Well today started okay, took the daughter to basketball, went home and prepared for a picnic at the Botanic Gardens. We had a bit of a walk, although not too long cause I promised the kids I'd take them for a bike ride to the shop. Well... my daughter's bike has a very flat tyre, and I have no idea where a pump is! (Although I'm sure we had one... I haven't seen it since we moved...) anyway, I tried to get her to take her brother's old bike, but she struggled down the hill. I waited at the bottom, and put my foot on the ground which was, unfortunately near an anthill... Of course, I didn't notice the "visitor" that got in my shoe. I rode around the corner to yell at the boys to and YEEEOUCH! Out scrambled the visitor... a bullant...(at first I thought I had a prickle in my foot) So now I am sitting here with my sore foot resting on an icepack. I didn't think an ant sting would hurt so much! But right now it's throbbing quite a bit... so NO RIDE! I may drive when the throbbing eases somewhat. I'm not sure what to put on the sting...

Anyway, eating was GOOD. I had my smoothie for breakfast and for lunch a couple of apricots, an apple and a few dates. Hopefully my good eating for the week (well mostly good) will pay off and I'll have lost more weight!

Hmm well I realised one thing that makes it hard to be vegan... The smell of chicken pieces cooking is SOOO GOOOOD! But I didn't eat any ;) I just found something that I thought I would miss. Hmm and McDonald's cheeseburgers (don't even ASK me why!). I mean, there were other meat things I enjoyed as well...I think it was just because I was thinking about them.

(OH GOD my daughter just dropped a plate of chicken in a drawer... sigh... why don't they let ME put stuff away??!!)

Anyway, I coped quite admirably. When my tummy rumbled too much I ate a couple of dates (dates are a great snackish standby) and I had a vegie burger plus some zucchini plus a green smoothie (which I'm still eating). The zucchini was a gift from my sons' friend's parents and none of my kids will touch it, so I am eating it!

Well I ended up going on a very short ride! The kids went out to sell raffle tickets (I was always too shy to do that as a kid) and it was getting dark (it gets dark earlier these days!!) so I went on the bike to look for them... as it was I didn't have far to go, but getting back up the court usually requires a bit of puff!

Day 34

Well another day and not much to report. It's already half past 12, and am getting ready to take the youngest son to Macca's for a birthday party. And while he's doing that we'll either come home or I'll take the other kids to the park or something and we'll go for a walk (that seems like a good idea, as it's a nice day with a mild temperature, and the kids need some exercise! Oh, and I do too of course hehe!)

Well after dropping my son off at the party we went to the lake had a bit of a stroll, then had a stroll through the gardens. Good exercise for kids and me, as well as fresh air and sunshine! Now that it's autumn have to make the most of the fine weather! It's starting to get colder, so there will be less fine days as the year progresses. I thought I'd take the kids for a ride to the shop tomorrow, they can have some exercise and a treat (only cause I'm nice lol...)

Day 33

A reasonably good start to the day. I had a weird dream about being in Germany and eating in some restaurant, and being unable to find any vegan meals hehe. Then the alarm went off just as I was eating something which was vegetarian I think, but not vegan, because it was all they had. Of course, one of the kids was up before me and I opened the bedroom door and in came cats, and there was no more sleep for me!

Went on another good long ride this morning, the weather is warming up again so I had a fair bit of sweat by the end of it, while my riding friend wasn't even panting... I really need to get fitter ;) I mean, I know I AM fitter than I was, definitely, I can now make it up all the hills without having to get off and walk, BUT I've still got a fair way to go. Ahh well, every step I take in the right direction is one step further to reaching my goals.

Today will be busy busy busy... I have to finish this manuscript I'm working on, and that means FINISH. It's Friday, and I want next week CLEARED completely. I also want to wash the floors today, they especially need it as someone spilled cordial and there are sticky patches around about the place. I need to go shopping this afternoon (probably, although it may be able to wait until Monday as I think we have enough stuff to last the weekend...and the less I go shopping, quite frankly, the better), and when the kids are home from school I need to take the younger two to buy some runners, I also need to buy a present for my youngest son to take to a party tomorrow (if I have time tonight...or I'll have to take him tomorrow after basketball), then the kids have swimming, and after swimming I have to take them back to school for Family Fun Night and THEN one of the kids' friends is coming back to our place because his parents will be out late, and probably won't be getting him until 10 or so. Phew! A nap wouldn't go astray somewhere in there ;)

Tomorrow will be another busy one with basketball as well as a birthday party to take my youngest son to. At least basketball doesn't start too early so I can sleep in a bit hehe.

Well, I will now get back to work because, as I said I need it done TODAY and it's already 11am. Foodwise, well all I've had so far is my morning yummy smoothie. For lunch I'll have a couple of pieces of fruit, and tea will be interesting as they're having a BBQ at the school, and obviously I can't have any of it! I'll probably duck home and get something else to eat hehe (it's handy that school's right next door).

Phew! It's just past 8:30 and kids are home. I made myself a vegan burger for tea, but had it in two bits of toast with sauce, and didn't eat anything else raw or healthy! (I did have a couple of apricots prior to taking kids swimming, but that was more "lunch" than anything else). I also had a cup of tea with honey in it today (bad me). Well, overall not too bad, I suppose. I mean, last year I'd have many days where I'd eat utter utter crap. Compared to that I'm going BRILLIANTLY! Yay me ;)

Day 32

I just realised I hadn't yet begun today's post. Phew! Well I've just done my EPOC exercises and this morning I went for a good length ride with a friend. I am about to eat lunch (well it's 1:20 which is kind of late...but I usually have it latish). I usually find myself getting hungriest at tea time because my morning smoothie usually does me a few hours. At tea I've been having a green smoothie, which isn't as motivating and yummy as my morning smoothie! I need to work out a way to make it more tastiful... yesterday I added some lucuma powder, and it was okay... too bad I am not more a banana fan. I really need to find some good GS recipes so it will be almost as enjoyable as my yummy breakfast smoothie! Lunch I usually just have fruit, but today I'm having avocado and tomato (fattier than usual, but I think I need to make sure I'm getting enough healthy fats because I don't eat a lot).

Well, tonight for tea I made a yummier green smoothie. YAY! I want it to be yummy cause it's more motivating to eat. This time I used 1 apple, 1 banana, a handfull of frozen blueberries, and a few cos lettuce leaves, as well as a scoop of green powder. I think lowering the green and upping the sweet fruit made a bit of difference. I have nearly finished it and I'm quite stuffed! As well as the GS I had a couple of vegan kebabs. Earlier today I also had half a glass of chocolate soy milk (which I didn't particularly enjoy) and a few dates.

Day 31

Well today is shaping up to be drier than yesterday, which means I can go riding (and about time too! It's Wednesday and I haven't been all week!). I'm feeling kind of tired, as I still didn't get to bed as early as I wanted last night, AND I have a ton of work still to do.

I've had my usual morning smoothie which really keeps me going for a few hours. I have no more Atkins bars to eat so it's back to fruit for lunch! Then for tea I plan to have another green smoothie and vegie burger or vegan sausages. I may have the burger cause I only have two meals of sausages and three burgers left. They should easily see me through to the end of the week ;)

House wise, I want to finish cleaning the floors and the living room, and do the bathroom. All in all, it should be a busy day as I still have plenty of work on the book I have to finish!

Oh God... there are possums fighting in the wall. So distracting when I am trying to work! They are supposed to be asleep at this time of day ;)

Hmm well so the day's pretty much over. I ate reasonably well today, think the worst I had was a glass of oat milk cause I was HUNGY! I have pretty much finished my editing (on paper), tomorrow will have to do it on the computer, and THEN I should be able to send it to the client. FINALLY! Some bits will need some rewriting though... and I'm still not sure it's 100% perfect just because it's such a confusing bloody thing (it really needs a few people to read it and sort of "play" it, choosing the various options to see how well it flows... it would take one person ages to go through every single possibility). But, well, I'll let the client see to that and if he needs changes, I'll make them.

Ooooh... Yesterday I discovered that our family portrait photo was stuffed (the glass front had broken, and something was spilled on it). Well, I organised to go and get a reprint done from the photographer, which is all nice... BUT it was $195!!!!! OMG... And I need a new frame. I couldn't believe how much the photo cost (it is big but not enormous!) I think it's about 35 x 28cm. Sooo I'm broke... well broker than I was (which is pretty broke). My car STILL needs servicing, and even when I get paid for finishing this manuscript, it will still be only $250. Next week I will do some major focussing on getting some good, well-paying work. OR I'll end up having to find a J-O-B. NOOOO!!!! I want to make money freelancing and working for myself!! But I need to develop more DISCIPLINE I think, to make this a success. Well, once the slate's clean for the week, I'll focus on getting more work. I'll go for well paying jobs, and I'll bid on lots (I have a ton of Elance connects saved up because I haven't put in any bids for ages). Even if I just get 1/10 or less I'd be doing okay! I'll be uber fussy too... cause I want something that pays well. If I don't get good paying jobs, I'll just do my own writing, and keep the faith that it will get me somewhere!

Geez I ramble on a lot about other stuff in what's actually a WEIGHT LOSS blog. Hehe... I may have to start a writing blog. Or a motivation blog. Or something!

Day 30

Well I weighed myself this morning, and yes I've lost weight (AND am below 70 YAY), but I was hoping to be a bit lower ;) Fussy ain't I! I did feel as if I'd lost more weight than that. It is silly cause ordinarily if I got 1kg a week I'd be happy! But because I have a DUE DATE for weight loss it doesn't seem to be coming off quickly enough. AND even though I'm now in the 60s, it doesn't seem so long ago that my goal was always to get back into the 50s because the 60s were so high for me. As you may have guessed, my weight has just been creeping up and up and up over the years! The silly thing is, any other year I'd be more than happy to achieve my weight loss goals over the entire YEAR. I'd be rapt if I was at my goal weight by December! However, because of the old High School Reunion coming up on May 1st I feel the need to be a lot thinner by then. But now I think I'd be happy to be just not overweight by then!

Of course, I need to get to 56kg to be not overweight anymore, which is a little over 13kg...and I'd have to do that in less than 8 weeks! That seems like a lot ;) Impossible? I don't know! I do know that if I'm struggling by April 1st I'll be kicking everything up a notch with regards to exercise and eating. Of course, as the weather gets colder it will get harder and harder to get my exercise in, because while it's possible to ride in the rain... it's not always that pleasant (especially as I wear glasses!!!)

Speaking of riding and rain... even though it rained all long weekend... it seems to be raining again *sigh*. It's not heavy, but is coming down in little misty drops now. Visibility would be rather poor. GRRRR. I missed yesterday, and I didn't want to miss today as well! Well I will definitely do my EPOC exercises today, and I'll try to get in some hard housework as well! The sort that actually tires me out ;) And if it dries out later, I'll try and get a ride in. As long as it looks as if it won't rain for at least half an hour a ride should be possible! Not necessarily pleasant, but possible ;)

Anyway, I should be happy for the rain because of the drought! Several days of rain is a GOOD THING. It really is! It's just no so much fun when one has to go out in it ;) Apparently this year we've had over twice the average amount of rain for March and it's only the 9th, so that's pretty good ;) And it probably means that most of the rest of the month will be dry hehe. Of course, a year with more than average rain would be FANTASTIC! Anyhow, I was just looking at Weatherzone and this time last year we'd only had 10.6mm of rain ALL YEAR, and so far this year we've had 153mm which is more than average. The last couple of years the rain's always been below average. Hmm speaking of the rain, it's now looking wetter and yuckier. So for all that I'm happy about the rain, not so good when I want to go riding lol!

ARGH well I was cleaning up earlier and I found our family portrait had something spilled on it. As it was, it was sitting on top of the freestanding fireplace (which obviously hasn't been used in awhile) because the glass was broken at the front of it. Well, because it was broken, whatever was spilled went right through... and basically the picture's screwed! So, I called the photographers, and they still have the photos on disk so I should be able to get a reprint done, but obviously at some cost! Soo... I have to go there tomorrow afternoon (and it's some drive out of town because they no longer have a studio in town) which will take up a chunk of my Wednesday arvo.

And, to top it off I didn't get to go riding today. Well I did do my EPOC exercises (and I used the blue and red bands for all except the shoulder press of doom) so that's something. And I spent a good hour tidying up, before I found the photo and got distracted calling the photographers etc.

I haven't finished the book I was working on, but I am some way through it. I discovered a couple of sections that hadn't been written that I had to write as well! So I renumbered it on the manuscript, which took awhile, as well as doing the extra sections. Now I have to read through the whole darn thing for a final edit, and then re-read following the different story trails... that could take AGES!

*YAWN* Well it's bed time for me, and NO I didn't finish the final edit of the book! I do want to get it done ASAP... It's been dragging on far too long, but this stage always does take awhile. I really want to get started on my OWN writing! Of course, I also need to apply for more freelancing work so I can actually make some $$$ which of course is also very important.

Today I ate pretty well. I did eat the final Atkins bar, but apart from that all was good. I often get the feeling that I've eaten badly, even when I haven't. I don't know why! Today I had my normal breakfast smoothie, which is full of goodness. I had the Atkins bar at lunch (and I did a good EPOC workout), and for tea I had a green smoothie (banana, spinach and raw chocolate, just to get rid of that bananaish taste lol) and a vegie burger. I also had a cup of tea sweetened with Stevia (NO MORE HONEY!!). I am actually a little peckish! Hmm being honest I probably also had a couple of dates hehe. They are rather tasty little things! I do try not to eat too many though, as they're full of sugar.

Well, 11pm and bed time for me! I had a late one last night and was tired today, and I just can't work effectively when I'm overtired! Tomorrow I need to finish cleaning living area and wash and vacuum the floors of the living room (vac the rugs obviously). Probably the hallway too. I'd also like to clean up the old bathroom a bit!

Day 29! Week 5

Well, I haven't weighed today since I just got home (it's 4:45pm) and I prefer to weigh in the morning. However, I have to say my stomach does look flatter, especially in clothes. So, it will be really interesting to weigh myself!

Mind you, I haven't eaten too well over the weekend. Yesterday when I arrived at the roadhouse, I ate a packet of chips (after searching to find one that is vegan), and quite a bit of red liquorice (YUMMO). However, for tea I just ate a pitiful apricot (everyone else ate spag boll). This morning I ate half an atkins bar, some dates, an apple and an apricot. Oh, and a piece of plain toast!

I missed my yummy morning smoothie, but oh well, I will have it tomorrow! Tonight I will probably have some salad and a vegie burger or sausage. Hmm... I do hope I am below 69kg cause I want to buy a pair of boots and I promised myself I wouldn't order them until I was 69kg! Not that I can really afford boots...hmm... well I do want them hehe and it is motivation ;) I think I'll just treat myself for every 5kg I lose! At least that keeps me relatively motivated.

I really look forward to being in the 50s again lol, but the 60s is a good start! I do feel better, and I do think I look thinner. I took pictures on Feb 1st, but won't take more until I've finished the 6 weeks so I can see the difference! (And now, I am sure there will be one!)

Hmmm in so many ways I feel like I'm taking one step forward and two steps back! I don't mind going the other way, even two steps forward and one back is going in a net positive direction! I just look around and the house is a pigsty and I have a ton of work or things that I want to do that just don't get done! As it's a public holiday for me, today has been completely unproductive. I haven't done any exercise at all, not riding or EPOC so I'm a day out with that too. I know I need to take a deep breath and just take things one step at a time! Tomorrow I will put a good solid hour into just regular house cleaning (not sorting etc.) just making the house fairly presentable. Then each day thereafter I will choose one thing to spend an hour on. Eventually I'll run out of things to do (well we're talking after months here) and I won't need to spend as long doing it. The problem is my weekends have been unproductive, mostly because my husband has been here, or as this weekend, I've visited him. As for work, well I just need to use the time I have at home on my own productively! If I spend a good few hours each day working, there's no reason why I can't accomplish everything I need to.

I was just looking at school term dates, and it looks as though there's only three weeks left of the term. Geez that went fast! I guess it was a short term because Easter is fairly early this year. But still! There will be another two unproductive weeks ;) I hope I don't let all my good habits slide when the kids are home! Those two weeks will still be crucial for my weight loss efforts. I'll just have to drag the kids out on their bikes or for walks!

Day 28

Last day of Week 4... Wow! Hope for some good results at my next weigh in ;) I thought I should probably post quickly now as I'm going away for the rest of the day :( I don't really want to go to my in laws' house, as errm we've had some issues lol. Generally I used to get along with them okay, but not since moving back home (and having several aspertions (sp??) cast upon me!). Anyhoo, the kids want to see their dad and vice versa and the in laws' are going OS tomorrow, so they won't be around for a few weeks anyway. However, I still can't really be bothered driving up for about the 4th week in a row... OMG my poor car needs servicing, which I can't afford, and I really don't appreciate having to drive an extra 300km or so EACH WEEK which is adding to my mileage and costing me $$$. I am trying to drive LESS. Most days I don't need to drive at all, as I work from home, so it's usually just to go shopping, take kids to sports etc.

I REALLY need to get on and make some $$$ cause I'm spending more on groceries than the government is giving me as family assistance. Of course, they should be giving me more as I'm not living with my husband, but I think someone at Centrelink messed up there... because I'm getting the same as when we were living together. And as my income is REALLY low lol I should be getting more. At least 100% of family assistance B... of which I am not getting 100% of. If that makes bad grammatical sense. Mind you, I don't like relying on social security, but until I start generating more income it is most of what I get. I get some from freelancing...I do need to get more freelance jobs so I can earn more though. My savings are fast vanishing...I did have some of my tax return (from when I actually earned money) stashed away, but the amount is going down. As soon as I get an electricity bill or get my car serviced, that will be it and I'll be relying on my Visa card. NOT GOOD!

Day 27

Almost the end of week 4! Wow! It's hard to believe how fast time can fly! I think I need to start a productivity blog to make me more productive lol. I don't know if it helps for accountability or not, but I do know that my eating has been MUCH MUCH better since I started here! I am wearing my jeans again today, and it seems to me they fit a bit better than last week. They're not loose yet though ;) there was a time a year or more ago when they were really loose! But my weight is going down, and any down is a good thing! I am feeling better, more energetic and healthier too. And I'm also less likely to sleep in! I woke up at about 7:30 this morning, and while I did lounge around in bed with a book (hehe) I didn't go back to sleep.

Wow, it's lucky it's a weekend today, because there's no way I'd be getting any exercise done outside! It's pouring with rain, and has on and off for the last few hours. Now and then it really gushes down, and then it calms down a bit. But it's hard to predict what it's going to do ;) It isn't quite as overcast as it was a couple of hours ago, where it looked much later in the day because of the heavy thunderclouds overhead.

AARGH In a container in the cupboard I found three Atkins bars! Eeep... of course they are not vegan :( but they are quite costly so I feel the need to eat them. I was eating them just fine before I went vegan though hehe. I mean, they ARE vegetarian, obviously they have no meat in them (ick) but they do have some milk products. This is kinda annoying because I was going very well being completely vegan for the past week. Ahh well... They also aren't raw of course and I'm trying to be more and more raw! Oh well, I will eat them next week, one a day (maybe every second day). Hmm I may take one tomorrow when I go visit my husband at his parents' house, because I'm sure they will not have vegan food, and I'd rather have an Atkins bar than something really bad!

Day 26

Today I have to go shopping, and my goal is to buy no cooked type foods for me. GASP! That will sort of force me to have green smoothies etc. for tea instead of relying on something cooked to satisfy my taste buds (I think it will also help in my weight loss). I have no idea how my weight loss is going this week, as I haven't weighed! I'm supposed to weigh on Monday, but I've agreed to visit my husband at his parents' place on Sunday, and stay the night (so won't be home until sometime on Monday), and by the time I'm home I'll probably have eaten. I prefer to weigh first thing in the morning, so I may have to hold off until Tuesday.

The other interesting thing about visiting will be: WHAT DO I EAT?? Will I just bring along some fruit and veg for myself? I'll probably have to! At least it will stop me eating anything junky. I doubt my husband has mentioned to his parents that I'm vegan now (they'd probably think I was insane... lol that seems to be the general concensus). I'm not overly keen on going up, but I have to bring my MIL's computer back (which I was borrowing until I got mine), and they are going overseas on Monday (to NZ) so it's a good chance for the kids to see them before they go.

Anyway, all that's irrelevant to TODAY. Today my goal is to finish the book I'm working on, print it out and go through it. Basically get the whole darn thing done and off to the client. Then I'm FREE for a few days at least lol. Well, until I get more work hehe. AND it's a good chance to start my new book. I am not exactly sure WHAT my new book will be about, but I will figure out something!

Oooh lucky I went riding when I did, because it's now pouring with rain! I went out just after 9 with a friend and we got back at about 10:20, and it's now almost half past 11 and the rain is just gushing down (which is a GOOD thing as we're in the middle of a long drought). I just had to go out and get my kitty inside because I didn't really think he'd want to be stuck out in that weather ;) he's usually not too keen on rain. My ride this morning was quite good as we went a reasonable distance. When I'm on my own it's usually just to the post office and back (which is about half an hour, maybe a bit less now I'm getting fitter). I don't usually do longer rides because there's too much other stuff I need to get done at home.

The weather forecast has rain predicted for most of the weekend, and I possibly won't get to ride on Monday as I won't be home. Although, if I leave my in laws' place early enough with the kids and the weather isn't bad, we can go for a ride to the shop (get the kids exercising too). I'd like to take them to ride around the lake, but it's just too far to get them to ride there (especially the younger two with their kids' bikes and no gears). I want to get a bike rack for the car that will take 4 bikes on it (at the moment I have one for two). That way I could take the kids there, as it's a great place to ride. Very safe as they can go around the foreshore, and 6km so a decent distance.

Well, I was at the pool with the kids and was HUNGRY and I saw an old manky chip on the floor and had a craving for chips. BAD ME! Well, I didn't eat any so it's okay ;) I have one last vegan sausage to eat and ermm... I'm going to try to go all raw next week, and have no cooked vegan food. Gulp! I wonder how long I will hold out ;) I seem to do okay until tea time and then I want something warm and cooked. I am wondering though if I just make a nice green smoothie I can get rid of any of those silly cravings.

Hmm I am really of two minds about this. I wanted to go for at least a month eating the cooked vegan thingy at night, with the rest of the day raw, just to get used to it, rather than go 100% too soon. I think maybe I'm just getting upset because the weight isn't falling off as fast as I'd like, and I wonder if I went 100% would that speed it up? I honestly don't know what my weight's doing this week, but I would expect at least a 2kg drop with the change in diet, and good exercise habits. I lost very little last week, too. I just need to not stress too much. Even if I don't reach my goal by the 1st of May, I still should have come a loooong way from where I am now (or where I was a month ago). It has been almost a month since I started on this challenge, and even though I've changed my dietary habits on it, I've been pretty good. My exercise has improved (I did EPOC three times this week so 100% compliance there), and every day I rode (although didn't walk lol). My thought is I need to lose an AVERAGE of 2kg a week before the 1st of May so I can at least be 55kg by then. It's a big ask though. Maybe I should be happy weighing more? ARGH. If this high school reunion wasn't looming so close I'd be happy with 500g to 1kg a week. I wish the reunion was in September or something ;) I'd be less stressed and pressured than I am now!

Some people would say it's stupid to worry so much about a high school reunion, but I guess most people (??) want to get to their 20 year reunion looking as good and youthful as possible! I was 45kg back in year 12, and while I haven't a hope in hell of getting that low, I don't want to be overweight! I know I can get rid of the obesity by then, but getting a BMI below 25 may be quite the challenge!

Day 25

Well, today I had another tasty smoothie for breakfast. It was similar to yesterday's, although I can't always make them exactly the same because I sort of just toss ingredients together! But I like the one with probably more blueberry and lecithin, and not too much chocolate. It keeps me nice and satisfied for a few hours!

Today I think I will try and go raw for the rest of the day, even though I usually just have one cooked vegie burger or a couple of cooked vegan sausages. Today I'll do the green smoothie for tea, because I don't think I need anything else to fill me up, as it's already incredibly filling. I also don't think I've lost a great deal of weight, despite riding each day and doing my EPOC on Monday and Wednesday. Well, I have a lot of weight to lose and I expected to find more difference in how I feel, if you know what I mean. My belly seems as big as ever! (Mind you, as it is a pretty big belly even if it decreases a bit it may be hard to tell!).

Well I did extra well riding today, I didn't go down gears at all on the way there, and I went half way back without going down either (even on fairly steepish hills). My bike is 18 speeds, but the gears are a bit stuffed, so I usually only use 5, 11 and 17... so I stayed mostly in 17, and only dropped back to 11 for part of the journey on the way back. Usually I do a bit in 5th gear. Part of my speed was because I got a new CD in the mail :) I was really rapt because it only came out on the 26th of February in Germany, and I had to order it from Amazon.de, so to get here 6 days after release date is pretty good! (Doesn't come out in the US until the end of April and it probably won't even come out here in Australia...) However, I also wonder if my diet is helping my stamina?? I have read that people who went raw found their strength improved as well as stamina... or I could just be getting more fit ;)

As usual, I'm behind on everything I wanted to do today, which is kind of typical! I think I will have to find a new way to schedule myself, as the way I'm doing it now is inadequate, and I always feel like I've failed if I don't meet everything on the list. Anyway, enough of that. I have definitely accomplished some work today, and should be able to finish the first draft of this book I'm working on, and hopefully print it out. It WILL be in the hands of the client by the end of the day tomorrow, of this I am determined! That way, all my current jobs will be cleared and I'll be able to focus on my own work and getting some more quality work (work that pays a little more than most of the stuff I do does!)

For lunch I had a mango and made some almond milk. The milk was not too bad, and hopefully it won't give me a stomach ache (last time I ate almonds I got a bad stomach pain afterwards, which was rather horrid).

Hmm well I seem to have developed a headache, which isn't very nice :( especially as I'm trying to forego painkillers! Not sure what set it off, but it started when my youngest son was at basketball training. I'm not sure whether to do my green smoothie tonight or not... I have plenty of greens to consume, but not sure what fruit to put with it since all I have is apple (ooh and some melon). Tomorrow I'll be going shopping again and will get more bananas and other fruits. Of course, if there are any good recipes with melon and apple I'll be happy to try!

Well I ended up NOT doing the smoothie, because I still have these wraps I have to use, and they'll go off if they're not eaten. Hmm there's one left, so I'll eat it tomorrow night (with my last vegan sausage hehe). Tomorrow is shopping day, so I've decided not to buy any substitute vegan foods... that way I'll pretty much be forced into having smoothies etc. and only raw food, because I won't HAVE anything else!

The other thing I did today that was not sooo good was drink too much of the almond milk. I'm not sure what the energy of the milk is, but obviously it's like drinking real milk, if you drink too much you'll get too many calories! Anyway, it seems my daughter likes it, which is good as I'm trying to wean her off cow's milk (she gets lots of ear infections which are exacerbated by milk).

Day 24

So, another day has rolled around. Phew! It's amazing how fast the time flies! I really do need to keep better track of what I'm up to ;) (and I need to nap less!!) Yes, the last couple of days I've had naps in the afternoon, which really gets me off track! Yesterday I got some Ormus and tried some and ended up sleeping for a couple of hours... phew! Probably cause I got to sleep late the night before. I really do need 8 hours a night or I'm stuffed! I'm hoping that once my body has detoxed a bit, and I'm eating higher raw overall that I need less sleep (I've heard others say they need less sleep when they go high raw in their diets). It will also help when I get more used to all this exercise (although, to be fair I think I am... my recovery is definitely quicker than it was a couple of weeks ago).

As it is, today I want to finish the first full draft of a book I'm working on for a client. Well, it's sort of finished, but needs expansion, so I need to get the final 3000 words done. Once I've done that I can print it and sort it. (It needs sorting because it's sort of a "choose your own adventure" type book, so not completely sequential... a big challenge I've discovered!) THEN I have to send it to the client and get paid ;) Fortunately, I've finished the bunch of articles I had to do for the month. Of course, once I've finished this job I have to get some MORE WORK! Yikes, it never stops ;) I also need/want to get started on my own book. I just want to clear the slate before I do, then bid on some really great sounding projects (if there are some great ones to be had!) to get some actual income coming in! My bank account is looking WOEFUL.

Now, this may be weird posting all this stuff in a BodySculpt Challenge blog, but it keeps me on track. Sort of! And it's kinda therapeutic journalling like this. The weird thing is, I'm just talking ot myself really, because I don't actually expect anyone else to read this... and if they did I'm sure they'd be bored out of their gourd before too long, because I really never post anything interesting. It could be an interesting experiment actually creating a blog that provided entertaining reading for others, but I'm not sure I've got it in me!

Well I got my new computer and set it up YAY (I'm still waiting for a monitor and bag though... slooooow Dell) so I can do work on my computer rather than borrowing other computers! Of course, it put my schedule back a bit for the day ;) However, I still got my EPOC done, just not all the writing I had to do! But, I did some of it ;) and that's something.

Well I am now HUNGRY... yes, very much so lol. I'm having a vegie burger plus some fresh veg and sprouts for tea. Yummo! Probably not as filling as the old green smoothie was yesterday though ;) I may have one of those tomorrow! (As long as the kids don't eat all the fruit in the meantime). I'm definitely hungrier today than I was yesterday, where I sort of skipped lunch. I am wondering why that is! I did do EPOC, so that could be one reason for it. Not that I want to make a habit of skipping meals or anything... I still ate lunch quite late today (about 3:00) which isn't exactly ideal. It's just that breakfast is quite filling, with a big smoothie. Today's one was sooo yummy (or did I already mention that??) Not sure why... it could have been the addition of lecithin, maybe less chocolate? Hmm not sure. I think too much chocolate (raw) without sweetening can be a little overpowering for it.

Hmm I was going to go to bed at 10:00, and it's quarter to 11... looks like early night ain't happening! BAD ME! I really need a good solid night's sleep!

Day 23

Okay, start of another day, and more focus again on eating well and getting in my exercise! I should also do my measurements today, as I didn't do them yesterday. I'd really like to see those measurements change! Especially around my belly, which is waaaaay too fat! Of course, I also have ginormous thighs which could do with a significant amount of trimming ;)

I am doing bodybrushing each day which should help with some of my cellulite (of which I have a LOT). I'd love to get rid of it, because my entire thighs from the knees up are covered in it... not nice or attractive! I read someone who did the raw food diet say that their cellulite literally vanished. That would be nice!

Hmm cat just sat on my comptuer for awhile and did some weird stuff here ;) I think it's all fixed now though!

Hmm... my appetite has been weird today. I had my biiig smoothie for breakfast, and haven't eaten since and it's now 4pm! I have an organic apple I'm going to try though. The only organic ones were Fuji, and I usually eat Pink Lady or Granny Smith apples, so we will see how this one tastes!

Well, just thought I'd say the apple was fine! Since then I've had about three dates, and now it's time to go cook some food for tea!

Well I made a green smoothie as part of tea, and put a banana in it! EWW banana! I generally avoid bananas like the plague lol. However, I've heard they go well in green smoothies, and so I made one with it. We shall see how it goes! (It also has apple and spinach... sounds weird, but yeah, it's okay, and a good vegan option!)

Hungry hungry... but am waiting for my sons' friend to go home! Oh wait, think I hear a car ;) It is probably his mum... usually they pick him up about 6, but it's quarter to 7!

Wow so I had two vegan sausages and a glass of green smoothie and I'm STUFFED. I still have a glass and a bit of green smoothie to go as well! This gives me hope that when I go without cooked food (next month that will be my challenge lol) I will be able to cope with the lack of food by filling up on my smoothies etc. Of course, the vegan sausages were REALLY good after not having any cooked food today lol. It would be nice if I had a dehydrator or something so I could make food that was more like cooked, but still technically raw. However, it's better to really just have food in its natural state (not sure how that goes with a smoothie lol).

One thing I have to say, is that I am not getting massive cravings for things I shouldn't be eating. So far, I'm doing well with eating the RIGHT things (or the things I have chosen to be right, which may not be right for everyone). There haven't been cravings for junk food, chocolate, or anything like that (although I do put raw chocolate powder in my morning smoothie lol). Today, I must say, when I sat down to eat my last meal I really wanted to get into those vegie sausages because I was hungry, but I wasn't craving say pizza or hamburger. Most times in the past when I've tried to go on a "diet" or eat more healthily I've completely fallen off the wagon, and haven't made it back on again. However, last Friday, for example I ate some KFC fries and potato & gravy...and that was it! I went back on Saturday to eating well. This is something very different for me, and I wonder what has caused such a transformation.

It's like, in the past I haven't been able to stick to being vegan or vegetarian, and although I only really started the other day, there's been no huge lust for meat or dairy (although I was looking at cheese before, and it looked kinda good hehe). I just tell myself I'm vegan and I can't have it, and that's that! Like in KFC I didn't even consider eating one of my old favourites (which of course contained CHICKEN), I just chose something that was vegan (even if it wasn't particularly raw or healthy). So, for me, being vegan really does resonate strongly enough with me that I don't miss meat and dairy so much at all. To me, eating 100% raw (especially just produce, and no dehydrated options etc.) seems much more challenging than being simply vegan. That's why I'm going high raw right now and trying to get 80 - 90%. I don't measure anything, I just make it that I can only have something cooked during the evening meal, and even then I have to eat it with raw food. We will have to see how this holds up over the long term!